A Jar of Dreams Read online

  Eric frowned as he studied her carefully. She was speaking so much about this ‘Nicholas’. An uncomfortable feeling balled in the pits of his stomach. He didn’t like that she did.

  “It doesn’t matter that we didn’t get along then, does it Boots? We were only children.” The cat purred and she giggled. “Okay, you’ve got me. I am curious as to who he is with now. It would be fun just to find out. At least I wouldn’t have to spend another boring night with you.” Boots arched his back, rubbing against her ankles. “Awww darling. I didn’t mean it. I love it that it’s just the two of us. Now, let me finish this so I can go get me a lovely dress for that party. It has been such a while. I hope I can still walk on a pair of heels without tripping.”

  He put his plate of food into the microwave and then paused to listen for her. She was still in the shower. A smile pulled at the corners of his lips. She was singing. “I can see you with me when I’m older, all my lonely nights are finally over, you took the weight of the world off my shoulders…” When you kiss me by Shania Twain, he recalled. It was an old song he was also once fond of.

  He pressed the reheat button and then hummed along under his breath. “Oh when you kiss me, I know you miss me. And when you’re with me, the world just goes away…”

  A thought nagged at him, knocking annoyingly at his temples. She wasn’t in love with this Nicholas guy, was she? He bit his lips and pulled out his plate from the oven. And if she was, what could he do about it?

  He forcibly brushed the thought aside, convincing himself that if she was, it would be the best for her. He could never give her the life Nicholas could. He took a bite of the stir-fry with rice. It was delicious. Or was his hunger misjudging its taste? He would probably find a marmalade sandwich just as delicious right now. He looked down impressively at the food. She couldn’t have made this on her own, could she? He glanced at the stove. If there were any remnants of her cooking, Lucy would have wiped them away by now. He noticed the burned rims of the stove burners. She did cook. He bit his lips. If only he wasn’t being hunted by a team of murderers… if only he hadn’t chosen to become one…

  He shook himself out of his melancholic, self-deprecating state. There was nothing he could do about the past. He had long learned to accept that he would probably never get that average family and a house with white picket fences he had once eagerly dreamed of. Perhaps not a white picket fence, he thought. A vine covered verandah in the front and a rose garden in the back was more like it. He glanced out of the kitchen and into the back yard, the scent of Anne’s beautiful jasmine drifting through the window and to his nose.

  He gulped down the rest of his food by the sink as quickly as he could. He kept his ear on her shower. Fortunately, she loved to sing while in it, making it even easier to monitor her movements without checking in on her. He cleaned up his mess and stored the leftovers just as she had in the fridge. Hopefully, she wouldn’t notice the now nearly empty container.

  The shower turned off and not long after he heard a cry. He stiffened, his body on a reflexive impulse to race after her and see if she was okay. He held his ground, hoping she wasn’t in a bad way.

  “Damn, those stupid tiles!” she swore loudly. “I must remember to get that fixed. Oh hell, I’d have to wait until Lucy returns.”

  He heard her grumble as she opened and slammed drawers. She had a temper, he grinned. He ambled to one of the window seats, gazing dreamily out into the woods that bordered the house. She was going to get herself a dress. Should he go with her? He contemplated the idea silently. He didn’t like that she was buying something to impress Nicholas Bradley. But the thought that she could be deceived into buying something ugly and embarrassing worried him more. He supposed that she usually would rely on Lucy to help her with such things. However, now that she was gone, did she have another friend?

  His eyes narrowed with deep thought. If she had, she would definitely have said it aloud to Boots. The cat meowed, curling up on the window ledge as it basked in the heat of the sun. He caressed its brow and it closed its eyes, enjoying it.

  “She talks about everything that’s on her mind, doesn’t she Boots? If she was going to get a friend to help, she would have said so.” He sighed. “What do I do, Boots?”

  He gave the cat one last pat on its back and then stood up. He darted up the stairs and to his bedroom. He quickly tucked his wallet into his pocket, picked up his shoes and then raced back down again. He opened the door as quietly as he could, and then shut it softly. He held his breath as he slipped his shoes on, counting down thirty seconds before he rang the doorbell.

  He gave her another five minutes and then pressed the bell again. He heard her shoes tapping against the wooden floor as she drew nearer.

  “Who is it?” she asked.

  “It’s Eric Tanner,” he said. “I helped you out of the bus yesterday.”

  “Oh yes, you did,” she replied cheerfully. She rattled with the door locks and then opened it. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” he said, enchanted by the freshness in her face. Her shower had added a glow to her skin and he could smell the citrusy scent of her soap on her skin. He took in a long deep breath, inhaling her delicious scent.

  “How are you?” she asked with a smile.

  “I’m good…um… yeah fine.”

  She tilted her head quizzically, wondering what he was doing on her doorstep. He swallowed nervously.

  “How… how are you?” he stammered.

  “I’m fine too.”

  He looked about him as if he would find his words in the beautiful vines that crawled up her pillars.

  “Is there something I can do for you, Eric?”

  “I was wondering… do you want to go out?” he asked slowly.

  “Excuse me.” She stepped back in surprise.

  “I mean I’m new in town and there isn’t anyone here I know,” he said quickly, his heart pacing fast. What if she refuses? Don’t get embarrassed just yet, Eric. He licked his lips. “Since you are the only one I’ve really spoken to in this new town, I thought you could… maybe show me around?”

  “Oh.” She lowered her head with slight befuddlement. Obviously, no one else had ever asked her to be a tour guide before.

  “Is it okay with you?” he asked. “I will understand if you can’t.”

  She straightened up with more confidence. “Of course it is. I was just going out into town myself and I would love to show you around. There is one thing though. I have to buy a dress for this party I have to go to. If you don’t want to accompany me on that event, then I will understand,” she said cheekily.

  “Of course not,” he let out with a small relieving sigh. “I would love to go shopping with you.”

  “You sure?” she asked, her confusion visible on her face. “Not all men like waiting about a woman’s fashion store.”

  “Then I am one of the few by your statistics.”

  She grinned. “You certainly are. And I will have to buy shoes too? Do you mind that?”

  “I’m at your service, Miss Mullen.”

  She laughed. “Very well. Mr Tanner. Don’t blame me if you do get bored.”

  “Trust me, I won’t.” He smiled. How could he when he was in her company? With her was where he had always wanted to be.

  “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” she said as she closed the door softly again.

  He heard her footsteps fade away into the house and he ran his hands nervously through his hair. He had never imagined that he would ever have had the chance to be as close as this to her. Fifteen years long, she had only been but a dream.

  She re-checked the pins in her hair. Her long blonde locks were up as usual, pinned to her crown.

  “Boots, is it okay?” she asked the cat. The animal purred and curled on her bed, watching her. She grumbled, “Sometimes, I think Boots you are such a moocher. All you do is sit meowing about all day long and never help when I ask you to.” She pulled down the hems of her top. “Maybe, I should have invested
in a dog.”

  She let out a sigh. “Okay, I admit I am nervous. I’ve never been out with a man and I really don’t know what I should be doing, what I should be saying…” She bit her lips as she stood there in the middle of her room, wringing her fingers anxiously. “I should get over this. I mean it’s not like he is interested in me. He just wants company. And the moment he finds a better one, he’s going to run like a bee that’s bit his bum. So why not, Boots? Why shouldn’t I take advantage of his company too? Alright then, I’m going to stop now. Let’s go, Boots. There is no use worrying about something I have yet to do.”

  She grabbed her bag, throwing the strap over her shoulders. “Maria said he was handsome. But what good is that to someone like me who can’t see, right? No, true beauty lies in the goodness of a character and the strength of his personality. And today, Boots we shall know which it is that Mr Eric Tanner possesses.”

  “You don’t talk much,” she said as they strolled down the street. “I would think I had lost you.”

  “Rest assured, you haven’t.” He smiled, watching her expertly slide her white cane before her. “Do you usually shop alone?”

  “Is it a crime?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “Can I not come alone?”

  “I was merely admiring the courage with which you face this world. I would have cowered in a corner at the thought.”

  “You’re very generous with your praise. But in truth I was very scared when I lost all of my sight. Those first days of my life in darkness sometimes felt like I was in hell. The thought of never being able to see the colors of the world was tormenting. But then you get used to living in hell too. And I slowly began to realize that it wasn’t the darkness that worried me anymore. It was my reluctance to live.”

  “You cared about what people thought about you?” He arched his eyebrow with concern.

  She nodded. “Initially I did. But then I came to understand that what people thought was none of my business. What did matter was what I thought about myself.”

  “Can I ask how you lost your sight?” he asked slowly. He didn’t want her to think he was prying. But the thought had always bothered him since that very first day he had met her.

  “When I was about seven years old, I was diagnosed with Stargardt’s disease. It’s a macular degeneration of the eyes, and by seventeen I had lost my vision entirely.”

  “Can you not see anything at all?” he asked with a frown. Had she inkling that he was hiding in her house?

  “It’s hard to explain. It’s not like I am staring into a black wall. I can identify between light and dark. But the rest are blurry. If I focus hard enough I might be able to make out something. However it does leave me with terrible migraines and so most often I don’t try at all.”

  He put his hands in his pocket as an uneasiness stirred inside him. If he wasn’t careful, she would certainly know of his presence in the house.

  “I thought you said you could see nothing but darkness,” he said.

  “I was speaking figuratively. After all, most people liken blindness to darkness, right?” She tucked a tuft of her hair behind her ears.

  He gazed up at her deep green eyes with a strange longing. He wanted to see himself in them.

  CHAPTER 6

  “What do you think about this one?” she asked as she stepped outside the dressing room.

  He looked up from his phone and then held his breath. Her skin glowed against the soft beige chiffon material. Sparkles of light from the row of beads on her spaghetti straps reflected against the smoothness of her neck. Her skirt gathered deliciously around her hips, falling just short of her knees.

  He resisted the urge to wrap his arms around her waist and tug her towards him. He coughed instead. “It’s one of the better ones for certain.”

  “I like the feel of it,” she said, running her hands over her dress. “It must look beautiful.”

  “Someone would think you’re trying to impress a man at the party,” he said, unable to mask the jealousy in his voice as he recalled the man she wanted to meet at her father’s party.

  She laughed. “I don’t dress to impress a man. I like to dress up because it makes me feel good. I can’t see what I wear, but I definitely can feel how my body carries it. I can imagine it too. Thankfully, Stargardt’s doesn’t affect creativity.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he muttered, looking apprehensively at her over his brows.

  She shook her head dismissively. “You did not hurt me. I just think it will take more than an eight-hundred dollar dress for me to impress any man.” She turned around. “I will take this one, please, Janet.”

  “Most certainly, Miss Mullen,” the immaculately dressed sales woman replied. “You have no idea how beautiful you look. I’ll help you out of it and then wrap it up for you.”

  “Wait… hold on a bit,” Eric said quickly. Sure he didn’t want her attracting a man, but he was damned if he would let her go out looking sub-standard to other women. “She needs a pair of shoes to match that dress.”

  “I have enough shoes, Eric,” Anne said with a tired sigh.

  “You said you wanted shoes as well.”

  “I was teasing you. I’m sure any one of those I have at home would suit it just fine.”

  “Are any of them nude?” he asked.

  She flushed at the mention of the word. “Excuse me?”

  “Your shoes. I suppose they’re all black.” He glanced down at her feet. He had ever only seen her in those black lace ups she seemed so fond of wearing. And even though its heels added more to her height, he was determined to bring more color to her life while he was in it.

  “I like black,” she protested. “They match anything and everything.”

  “If I can intrude, Miss Mullen, but Mr Tanner is right,” Janet, the saleswoman spoke up. “A pair of nude pumps would look so much better with your dress. Otherwise, you really don’t do enough justice to such a beautiful dress.”

  Anne paused for a while and then smiled. “Very well… if you both insist. I wouldn’t want to commit a fashion crime, would I?”

  “Will that be all?” the shop assistant asked her.

  “Yes, thanks, Janet,” said Anne as she slipped her feet back into her old black shoes.

  “Not a problem, Miss Mullen. Your purchases have been wrapped and waiting for you at the counter.”

  “Always the proficient.” Anne smiled. “Please add them to my account.”

  “No need this time, Miss Mullen. Mr Tanner has paid for them.”

  Anne straightened up from her chair in surprise. “Eric?”

  “Yes. In cash too,” she said, her impression clearly evident in her voice. “He is so handsome and gentle. You are very lucky, Miss Mullen.”

  “He paid in cash? The cost for the shoes and dress totaled to about twelve hundred dollars,” Anne muttered.

  “Yes, I know,” Janet replied, shaking her head with awe. “He must carry a lot with him whenever he shops. And he loves you so much. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

  Anne froze at her feet. What was Janet babbling about now? Eric Tanner was in love with her? She had only met him twice now. And why would a handsome man such as he even be attracted to someone like her? Her face darkened with anger. Did he think she couldn’t afford such pithy luxuries? It wasn’t love Janet had seen in his face. It was pity.

  “Where is he?” she asked flatly.

  “In the lobby, waiting for you. Miss Mullen,” Janet added slowly. “I know you are a strong and independent woman. But sometimes when a man is possessive, it simply means he cares about you. It’s the only way they know how to show you that they love you.”

  Anne pressed her lips together. There was no need arguing with Janet. She saw love everywhere. Janet would even possibly marry an ape and a donkey if she believed she saw love in their eyes. No, it was Eric Tanner she had to deal with. And his pity for her. Mostly, his pity.

  She brushed past him, tapping quickly towards her
house.

  Eric frowned. Something had happened between the store and their way home. It was unmistakable that she was angry.

  “Anne… Anne!” he said as he jogged after her with her shopping bags. “What’s going on?”

  “I just need to get back home quickly,” she mumbled rather quickly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “There’s something I need to do.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like never contacting you again!” she screamed out angrily. She shivered in her rage, holding the head of her cane tightly in her grip.

  He stared at her, rapidly revising everything that had happened since the store. What had he done wrong?

  “Have I done something to offend you?” he asked carefully.

  “You… you paid for these!” she stammered. “Why would you do that? You don’t even know me.”

  “Is that all?”

  “All? You paid more than a thousand dollars in cash for one dress and a pair of shoes. And you say that is all? Who are you? And why? Why did you?”

  She didn’t wait for him to respond, but began walking briskly on again.

  “Wait!” he fumed. “Anne, wait a second!”

  He ran up to her and caught her elbow. She panicked, jerking her arm free from him.

  “Get away from me!” she screamed.

  “I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” he repeated as calmly as he could. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. Please, Anne, at least let me explain.”

  A door burst open and a tall, lean man jogged down his driveway in a loose linen pants and a plain thin white shirt that clung snugly to his muscular body. Eric gave him a brief glance and knew instantly where he was heading. He must have seen them arguing through his window and run out immediately without the thought of changing into something more presentable.