Affairs & Atonements Read online

  “I’ll say goodbye to Ashton,” her mother’s words reeled in her mind. Once her mother was gone, she would be alone. Her palms grew warm and sweaty. Was she ready for something as this? That one time in that abandoned field should have made the transition easy for her. But for some reason, she was still nervous.

  Had she really felt Ashton inside her? Were those thin cotton briefs enough to veil his turgid flesh? And as for Ashton… while he may have felt her all over, including that warm centre between her legs, he had not seen her. Not yet.

  She clasped her trembling hands tightly and turned towards the mirror. She was Mrs. Ashton Pryor now, she told herself. She was living her dream.

  Her pins in her hair were beginning to hurt her and she began pulling them out to ease the pain. Her thoughts ran over her lies to Marshall and she couldn’t help feeling guilty. She had told him she was taking a short break at her mother’s home in Boston. Marshall had always worried about her safety whenever she was with her mother because of her unending string of boyfriends. Unsurprisingly, it had taken her a little while to convince him to let her go. Her mom also had insisted on keeping it from him and she had ashamedly relented and gone along with the lie.

  She unraveled the locks from her hair, letting it loose down her back. The door swung open and Ashton paced in quickly.

  “I just dropped your mother at the bus station…,” he started and then froze mid-way. “She’ll catch the bus and…” He licked his lips.

  “And?” She tilted her head to the side.

  “And you’re beautiful.” He breathed out gruffly.

  CHAPTER 3

  She blushed. “No, I just…”

  “You’re beautiful,” he repeated, ambling up to her. “I’ve been wanting to tell you that for ages.”

  “Yeah, right.” She chuckled. “I got married in a white summer dress. I don’t think many girls dream of a wedding in that.”

  He shook his head. “You’re perfect. I couldn’t care less what you wore today.”

  She bit her lip, shaking slightly from her nervousness.

  “And when you do that, you drive me crazy,” he mumbled, catching her waist and tugging her close to him.

  She lowered her head, too shy to look him directly in the eye. They had never kissed again since that day in the meadow, a week ago. Ashton had maintained his distance in order to lay off any scent of their dating from Marshall.

  And now, tonight, she was no longer just his secret girlfriend. She was his wife.

  He cupped her face, tilting it up. She kept her eyes closed, taking in a sharp breath when her lips met his hot mouth.

  He nipped at her lips, tasting them, caressing the corners. She opened them wider, giving him access to her tongue, and he took it immediately, playing with it, teasing it.

  His hand moved clumsily over the buttons fastening the back of her dress, too eager to pull it off her. He finally managed to loosen two fastenings; just enough to slide her straps off her shoulders.

  He traced her flawless skin down to her neck and her torso. She murmured deliriously. But as she felt her dress slide further down her breasts, she instinctively clutched onto it.

  “Let it go,” he whispered.

  His voice was comforting, urging her to trust him. And she did, letting it drop down her body to lie gathered in a pile at her naked feet.

  He held her back from him as if he was assessing her with his eyes.

  “I wasn’t wrong,” he said at last. “You are very beautiful.”

  He swung her off her feet, carrying her to the bed. She lay still in his arms, oblivious to everything but his lips tasting her flesh.

  He laid her down, his hands ravaging her undergarments. Finally, naked in every way, he shed off his clothes and straddled her hips.

  She admired his body, running her hands over his defined abdomen. His length jutted against her belly and she couldn’t help but admire it in awe. She had never seen it in flesh and was delirious over the thought of it impaling her.

  He leaned down and cupped a breast in his hand as he sucked on the other, nipping at it with his teeth. She moaned and bucked as his manhood rubbed onto her clitoris, exciting her.

  Having had his fill of her breasts, he kissed down lower until he reached the triangle of her sex. And where once his fingers filled her, she felt his tongue roam and ravish her inside and out.

  Her body contorted with ecstasy, her fingers threading through his hair, wishing for him to taste her faster and deeper. She cried out with pleasure as she rode the tides of her climax. She thought that that was the most she would ever get from their love-making when he straightened up and slid up her body again.

  He kissed her and she could taste herself on his wet mouth.

  “I’ll try and be as gentle as I can.” He breathed out roughly, with obvious loss of control. “I’ve never had a virgin before. But do you trust me?”

  She nodded.

  He looked down at himself as he inserted himself into her, pushing slowly in. Her body clenched as she felt him inside, her fingers digging into the flesh at his hips.

  She gave a cry of pain as he tore through her barrier. But as he moved gently inside her, her pain ebbed, displaced with insurmountable pleasure. None like she had ever experienced before. And soon she was rocking with him in a primitive rhythm, until they released their passion into one another, sealing their fates as one forever.

  ****

  She washed herself in the bathroom as Ashton took yet another phone call from Linda. She wondered if everything was alright between her and Marshall. Lately, they were more at odds than ever before.

  She wrapped herself in a crisp white towel and headed back into the bedroom. She glanced at the balcony doors and its thin lacey curtains rustled in the breeze pouring into the room through its open doors. It seemed Ashton was still there, although she did not hear his voice other than the traffic five stories below them.

  She pulled on a camisole and treaded towards the doors.

  “Ashton?” she asked slowly.

  She found him sitting on a chair with his head braced in his hands.

  “Ashton,” she said again, growing worried.

  He looked up at her, his face paled and drained. “Linda is in hospital. Her lupus has relapsed.”

  “Lupus?” she muttered in shock.

  “You didn’t know that, did you? The anxiety, the depression, her continual struggle with her relationship with Marshall.”

  “I had no idea. She never said… no one ever told me.”

  He brushed past her roughly.

  “Why did you think I was so protective of her? She raised me like I was her child, Christy. Even though she was always this weak kid, she was always there for me. She never left my side. While my parents busily involved themselves in growing their business, she was the one who took care of me.”

  “I… I’m so sorry,” she stammered, not knowing what else to say to comfort him. “You were always so close to her.”

  “When she started dating Marshall, everyone was up and against it. But she was Linda, the frail one and soon she had won everyone over. Unfortunately, their relationship turned out just as fragile as she was. She grew anxious about Marshall’s low paying job, worried that he would never be able to afford to keep her and the baby. So Dad offered him a position at the company to ease her tension. But Marshall… well, he was being Marshall. Stubborn and unreasonable. His pride wouldn’t allow him to accept it. He felt it was a job given to him out of pity.” He chuckled sarcastically. “Because he doesn’t have the qualifications to make it there on his own. Because he knows we know he would never be able to give his wife and kid what we can. Not on his wages.” He ran his hand through his hair in anger. “And yet he refuses in spite of knowing about Linda and her weak health.”

  “I didn’t know,” she mumbled, her legs trembling under her. Despite everything Linda had said or done to her, she never wished her any harm. She was Elise’s mother, Marshall’s wife. “I could g
o back and talk to Marshall about it. I’m sure if we explained it well enough, he would listen. He’d do anything for Linda. He loves her.”

  “He won’t.” He shook his head vigorously. “He only loves his child- and you.”

  “That’s rubbish! He loves his wife too. Sure, he is fond of me, but that doesn’t mean he puts me ahead of Linda’s priorities.”

  “Oh, cut the fucking bullshit already, Christy! Linda was in no position to have you live with her. She told Marshall this. I was there when she did. But no, he was determined to bring you home and raise you like his own kid!”

  “I had nowhere to go …”

  “You had your parents. They’re alive, Christy. They’re not lying drunk or dead in some ditch. They’re alive! And if you had wanted to stay on with them, you could have stood your ground and they would have been able to do nothing about it!

  “That’s not true! They didn’t want me!!”

  “No, you wanted it easy. You’ve always looked for the easy way out. That’s why when I threw that offer at you to be my wife; you latched onto it with all your life.”

  She stepped back, stunned, her color draining from her face.

  “You’re angry, Ashton,” she mumbled, trying to find some rationality in his words. “Let’s just pack up and go and see Linda, okay? That is what we need to do now.”

  She raced to her bag and started folding in her clothes.

  He came after her and grabbed her clothes out of her hands, tossing them aside and onto the floor.

  “You’re not going to see her! She doesn’t want to see you. You’d only make it worse.”

  “Fine,” she said, trying to calm him down. “I won’t. I’ll do as you say. But let us first get back home.”

  “Home? Which home? Mine or yours?”

  “Ashton…” She trembled. “Don’t talk like that. We’re married now.”

  “Oh right, we are. And do you know why I did that?” he minced evilly. “Married you? So Marshall knows what it is like to get his sister hurt and wounded. It’s a devil’s bargain, Christy and it’s too bad you’re it.”

  “You’re angry and I get it.” She began to tear. “But—”

  “No, you don’t get it. If Marshall can do anything for his sister, then so can I. He’s going to learn how to respect my family and his wife. Because if he doesn’t, he’s got another thing coming when I dump you back at his house, where you belong!”

  Her legs gave way and she fell to the floor, her tears pouring out of her eyes.

  “Is that why you married me? To avenge Linda?” She shivered uncontrollably.

  “Why else? Who would marry such a pathetic creature as you under normal circumstances? My mother kept telling me “Marshall would only get it if Christy found a man just like him”. And then Linda said it, so did my aunt and everyone else. And I knew then, that was exactly what I was supposed to do. It was obvious you liked me and I took advantage of that. Does that make me a bastard? Yes, it does. But I know, so long as I’ve got you wrapped around this wedding band, I’ve also got Marshall right there too. As your husband, Marshall can never touch me.”

  She laughed sarcastically through her tears. “You think you’ve got it all figured out. You think Marshall would do that for me? No one has done that for me. And no one will!”

  He shrugged. “Well, what’s there to lose? I’d get a divorce as quickly as I got a marriage. No problems.”

  “And what if I get one before you do?”

  “You won’t. Because you’ve got more to lose than I do. Who do you think will have you now? Brendan Croydon?” He laughed.

  “It’s not the middle ages, Ashton.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s worse. Because I will follow you. And each time you make that turn around the corner, you’ll find me.” He snorted. “Now, be a good girl and don’t make threats you can’t follow through. If you even as dare file those papers, it’s not only you that’s going to suffer. I’ll make darned sure that Marshall pays for it as well. You and your brother don’t want to live the rest of your lives labeled a thief.”

  “You wouldn’t…,” she uttered in disbelief.

  “Oh yes. My Dad’s credit card can have tens of thousands of dollars stolen from it.”

  “No one would believe that.”

  “You don’t know who will if I make the accusation myself.”

  “You had this all planned. How could you?!” She cried out in anger.

  He straightened up. “I need a drink. In the meanwhile, I’m sure you would be able to find your way home from here. When I come back, I want to see you gone. You got that?!” He opened the door. “And by the way, thanks for the fuck. It was great.”

  He slammed the door behind him and she stared after it in a dream-like state. She had to be dreaming.

  Just a few hours ago, she had been in his arms, believing her fantasies were finally coming alive. And now suddenly, she had been tossed aside like trash. Like she always had been. All her life.

  CHAPTER 4

  Eleven Years Later

  He turned the wedding band in his hand. It had been the cheapest gold band in the store. He hadn’t thought it was worth paying for more. He hadn’t expected the marriage to last long. But he also hadn’t expected it to be as short as a night. While he never did see Christy again since that dreaded night, he was still married under law.

  He clutched the band in his hand, leaning his head down in deep thought. In all these years, Christy never once left his mind. He had done his best to move on. He got himself an advertising degree and now he was working at one of the city’s top advertising firm, Carne’s Media Group. He had even been promoted to executive level, heading his own research team. He had a string of women moving in and out of his life and recently, he had also got engaged to a beautiful model, Naomi Landon. He had the best of life at his feet and yet, here he was burdened with the guilt of Christy Huntley.

  If only he could be certain she had not suffered and had instead lived a good life just as he did, he could move on freely. But until then, Christy would continue to haunt him.

  He looked down at his phone, his knee jerking impatiently.

  He had finally broken through Hilda Eddings, now Hilda Gaynor. She had told him to wait whilst she clarified some details on Christy’s location. That was twenty minutes ago and he was still here waiting for her to call back like a desperate man. But he had no choice. He needed to atone for his sins. There was no way he would live his life in peace until he found out Christy was okay. And then there was of course the matter of divorce. How was he ever to marry Naomi unless he divorced Christy?

  He had never revealed the sordid details of his marriage to his fiancee. Instead, he had tolerated her eagerness to get married in a year, hoping the time would be enough to find and divorce Christy.

  His mind recalled the events following that night. His family had been mad with him for making such a stupid, immature decision that could very possibly ruin the rest of his life. And it almost had. He had achieved success, but he never enjoyed them like he had wanted to. No, Christy stole all that from him.

  And the sister he had naively stood up to protect had at last separated from Marshall. She couldn’t bear that her husband had grown overwrought on finding his sister. She had given up on her marriage and moved out of the house and back to his parents.

  He had assumed Christy would have made some contact with her brother too, but Marshall’s grieving condition told him otherwise. As expected, Marshall had roughened him by his collar when he discovered what he had done to Christy and he could shamefully do nothing more than apologize profusely.

  A year later into her disappearance, Marshall finally began to find peace within himself. He won custody over Elise, remarried and was now living happily with his new wife.

  “If Christy wants to be found, she knows exactly where I will be waiting for her when she is ready to come home,” Marshall had told him when he had visited him two years after that night.

  A
nd he supposed Marshall was right. But it was he who had driven Christy away, not Marshall. He could never afford the peace Marshall had acquired over time.

  He sighed, rubbing his face. He looked at his phone. Ten more minutes had passed. It seemed Hilda had also forgotten to call him back. No one was interested in looking for Christy anymore. She had disappeared once again as if she had never existed.

  *****

  His phone rang as he made another turn on his route back home. He turned the blue tooth on and Naomi’s voice came through before he could even answer it.

  “Babe, it’s me,” she said. “Where are you now?”

  “On my way home.” He smiled. “You’ll be there, right? I can’t wait to see you again. So be ready and waiting for me. Naked with a bottle of wine would be really nice.”

  “Oh babe,” she groaned. “I’m in my car and heading to London. I’m really sorry, but this assignment just popped out of nowhere and I don’t want to lose it. It’s a brand name and could possibly put me on the map.”

  “How long will you be?”

  “Three weeks.”

  Disappointment shrouded his face.

  “Babe?” she asked when he didn’t answer.

  He attempted a smile. “It looks like I would have to wait naked with a bottle of wine for you instead.”

  She chuckled. “I’d love that and a ribbon on your cock, which I’d love to pull open with my teeth.”

  “Mmmm,” he murmured. “Sounds delicious.”

  “You know what I’d also love? A…”

  His phone buzzed again. “Hold on there, Naomi. There’s another call coming through.”

  She groaned. “Anyways, I have to go, babe. We can discuss the details later. I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too.”

  He disconnected and answered the other call.