Affairs & Atonements Page 17
“Must have been a shock to find out you had a child. I was when you first told me. That was why I rushed through my shoots. I was so worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Naomi. I just needed some time to get used to the fact that I am a father now.”
She sat on the edge of the table, looking at him. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I thought if I came here, I might get to know JR too since he would be a part of our lives.”
“I know.” He ran his hands tiredly through his hair. “I wish you had told me that you were coming, though. We’ve only begun adjusting to each other. He’s my son, Naomi. I can’t risk screwing this up.”
She nodded. “So what was your trip to New York with Christy all about?”
He raised his brow questioningly. His heartbeat raced slightly. He didn’t want to lie. He just didn’t want to tell her the whole truth yet. “There was a seminar for hoteliers I thought Christy could benefit from. She is struggling with the lodge and any advice would help her remarkably.”
“Did you have to go? She’s a grown woman. I’m sure she could have managed it on her own. And besides, that would mean time away from your son.”
A nerve tensed in his temples. She didn’t like that he had gone with Christy. Which sane woman would welcome the thought of her partner alone in a hotel with his supposedly former wife? But he couldn’t let her throw a temper here. Not in front of JR.
“If Christy succeeds, that would only benefit JR,” he said. “I am doing this for my son.”
“I suppose.” She shrugged and walked over to the window. “The lodge is so old. It’s such a mess. Why doesn’t she simply sell it up? I’m sure Christy could find a job somewhere instead of working an effort to keep it.”
He rubbed the pain growing in his temples. “It’s her business, Naomi. If she wants to run it, then by all means she should.”
She spun around sharply. “Yes, but she’s got you involved. You’re fixing her website, repairing the infrastructure, running her errands and now you’ve just come from New York with her. Yes, Margaret and JR told me all about how you’d been spending the time here. How is that right, Ashton? How am I supposed to be okay with all that?”
He walked up to her and tried to put his arms around her but she shook them off.
“This is why I didn’t want you to come here,” he said. “You should have waited for me to introduce you to JR.”
“What was I to do when I heard you were spending three weeks with your ex-wife? Wait, hold on? She is still your wife, right? You’re not divorced yet.”
“Naomi…”
“Do you still love her?”
He threw his head back tiredly. Should he just tell her? It was a direct question after all. A yes or a no was all it needed. He could break it off with her right this minute or tangle her further with a lie. He glanced up at her. Her eyes were welling with tears, her face strained with worry. His heart softened and he tried putting his arms around her again. She didn’t resist this time, leaning appreciatively into him.
“It’s hard on me too,” he whispered. “I’ve just discovered I have a child. He’s discovered he has a father who wants to be with him. And I’m doing all I can to make my transition into his life as smoothly as possible. I could hole up my frustrations and be bitter with the mother of my son for keeping him hidden from me or I could be smarter about it and embrace this opportunity life has given me. What would you rather me do?”
She sniveled into his shirt. “I’m sorry. Of course I don’t want you stressed and angry. I would hate to see you dragging yourself and your son through a legal battle for custody. But I can’t help feeling the way I do. I know I’m being stupid and childish-”
“Sshhh… you’re not stupid or childish.” He sighed. “You have every right to react the way you did.”
“I’m scared I’m gonna lose you, Ashton.” She sobbed quietly. “I thought you were finding your wife so you could divorce her to marry me. I understood that. I had no problems with that. And then suddenly, you have a ten year old kid, and now you’re spending three weeks with her, fixing up her place, taking a trip to New York. You’re behaving as if you belong here. As if this is where you want to be. Do you want to even go back to Philly?”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. “Honey, I’m a man on a salary. If I don’t turn up at my job in a couple of days, Mark Lawrence is going to fire me. Tardiness is the one thing that man can’t stand.”
Thankfully, the answer sufficed her. She quieted, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry for behaving like a possessive bitch. It’s only because I love you.”
“I know.” He smoothed her hair to calm her down. He held her there for a long time, not knowing how he would face the storm brewing outside the study. For some inexplicable reason, he felt he had weathered only the beginnings of an impending tempest.
*****
“When did she arrive?” Christy asked as she peeled another carrot.
“Probably an hour before you did,” said Margaret, stirring the contents in a large stew pot. “She was enquiring about Ashton at reception. Jane didn’t know what to tell her so she called me up.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I brought her over to the kitchen because I was afraid of how she might react when she would learn that her fiancé flew to New York with his ex-wife. I guess I would flip out myself. Considering the circumstances, she did relatively well. Very admirably composed. I suppose it’s got something to do with her occupation. She travels a lot and mingles with so many different people; she must see things differently than we commoners.”
Christy paled. She never would have been okay with her husband taking a trip with a former partner. And reflecting on how they had spent it, she would have had good reason to be suspicious.
“Christy, honey? Are you okay?” Margaret asked concernedly, suddenly noticing her change in color.
Christy palmed her forehead and nodded her head. “Yes. It must be the stress of the trip.”
The guilt of her intimacy with Adam sped through her. He’s in a relationship… he has a partner. It’s not just any woman. She’s her fiancée. He’s bound to marry her when they return to Philadelphia. He has his own life back there. What are the chances he’d come back to me and JR? He’d be nothing with me. Nothing. What was I thinking? What was I thinking?...
Margaret watched her closely. “Are you sure? Did something… happen on the trip?”
Christy lifted her eyes, her tears welling in them. She didn’t need to speak her emotions out aloud.
“Oh, Christy.” The older woman wrapped a comforting arm around her. “Of all the dumb things you’ve done, you went and fell back in love with him again.”
“What am I supposed to do, Margaret?” She sobbed softly but uncontrollably into Margaret’s motherly bosom. “What do I do now?”
“Sshhh.” Margaret soothed, caressing her head gently. “Sshhh, child.”
They sat together silently, Margaret’s hand still resting on Christy’s. The stew continued to boil on the stove, its aroma permeating the cozy kitchen.
“What are you going to do?” Margaret asked.
“I don’t know. I really have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” She pulled in a deep, shaky breath. “I’m such an idiot, Margaret. How could I put myself in this position again?”
The elderly woman cupped her face. “Honey, everyone makes mistakes. We’re only flesh and blood after all.” She gave her a small pat on her head. “Talk it over with Ashton. That is all I can advise you for now. This is no longer just about you and him anymore. There’s JR to consider, and Naomi. She is his fiancée after all.”
“Am I evil? I must be on the inside to have done something like this to another woman.”
“No, of course not. Love makes us to do crazy things. It upsets all those important hormones that make us think straight. You’re an intelligent, beautiful woman who fell in love and made some mistakes. And I’m always going to be proud of you for being the daughter Evan and I never had.�
� She laid a small kiss on her forehead. “Now, pull yourself together and sort it out like the woman I know you are.”
She stepped away from Christy to turn her attention to her pot of bubbling hot stew. But a shuffle of footsteps caught her attention again as Naomi and Ashton walked into the kitchen.
Margaret cleared her throat. “There you both are. You are going to stay for dinner, aren’t you?”
“Thanks, Margaret.” Naomi smiled, tilting her head up lovingly at Ashton. “It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen my fiancé. I want to spend as much time with him for now. We’re going to head into town for a nice romantic night out.”
Ashton shifted uncomfortably, his eyes attentively focused on Christy.
She ignored him, continuing to grate her carrots.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Naomi said.
“No, of course not.” Margaret waved dismissively at her. “Maybe next time.”
“Absolutely.” The woman smiled broadly. “I have to thank you for being so kind to Ashton considering the circumstances…” She paused. “Thank you.”
“It goes both ways. You have a wonderful man standing by your side.”
“I know,” Naomi said, clasping his arm fondly.
“We should go, Naomi,” Ashton mumbled. “You might want to shower and change and that does take time.”
“He knows me so well.” She chuckled. “I’ll catch you all later.”
Her little giggles and chatter echoed into kitchen as they made their way through the hallway and out the door. It struck a nerve in Christy’s chest, bringing tears to her eyes. They were together again. Ashton never mentioned anything about us to her. He had played me for a fool and I had willingly danced to his tune. I’ve been such an idiot!
*****
He put down their luggage on the floor of his room.
“Oh, I sure need that shower,” Naomi said, heading straight into the bathroom to check it out.
He sat on a chair to undo his shoes, his mind unable to shake off Christy’s expression when Naomi had announced their dinner date tonight. She was upset with him and he understood that. But how could he tell Naomi he wanted to get back with his wife when she was relatively alone in this corner of the world? There was no one to support or console her while she made her trip back to Philly. And to imagine breaking up with her while they were lodging in his wife’s bed and breakfast would be far too cruel on her.
“Ash… I asked how the night life was in these parts.” Her voice pierced through his thoughts, shaking him out of it.
“Yeah, I heard they’re good,” he muttered. “I didn’t go out as much. So I can’t really say anyway.”
“That’s a first,” she said, sitting on his lap. Her hand wound around his nape. “You were always out back in Philly.”
“I needed to spend as much time with JR as possible, Naomi,” he said tiredly.
“I know. I’m just saying it’s unusual for you.” She frowned. “Am I saying something wrong?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m just tired. A lot has happened these past few days and it hasn’t been easy either.”
“Would you rather stay in tonight?” she asked, concern sweeping her face.
They’d have to eat in. There was no way he’d want to show up in Christy’s kitchen with Naomi in tow. It was too early for that. Her wounds were still too raw to accept seeing them dine together.
“No,” he let out with a sigh. “Let’s just go out. I’d probably liven up after a shower. Why don’t you head the way?”
“You sure?” She ran her fingers through his hair.
“Yes.” He smiled. “I mean look at this room. There isn’t any way we could eat in here without staining something. Christy would have a fit if she’d see it. She’s so meticulous when it comes to cleaning.”
Naomi rose off him. “You seem to care a lot about what she thinks.”
Did he just put his foot in his mouth? “Naomi-”
“It’s okay. I get it.” She cut him short. “I suppose if this was the only thing I had to depend on for my living, I’d probably be all OCD about it too.” She grabbed her towel and began stripping out of her clothes. “It’s such a shithole anyway. There’s really nothing to save in this dump. Have you seen the bathroom? Absolutely gaudy. No artistic flair whatsoever.”
He let her mutter away, unbuttoning his shirt instead. She was still angry about his trip to New York with Christy. He deserved it. He was never good at breaking-up. In the past, he’d sabotage his relationships, letting his girlfriends end it instead. It had always been easier to disguise his un-interest as ‘drifting apart’. With Naomi, however, he had let her slide into his life because she simply had worked harder at keeping them together. And then there was the little detail that they were two peas in a pod with similar tastes. She was compatible and that seemed sufficient enough to tie the knot with her. Besides, marrying Naomi felt more like he was marrying himself. It felt easy.
He had never bargained on the fact that he would actually find Christy. He had after all made several unsuccessful attempts to locate her. He never would have believed that he’s attraction for her would have lasted as long as this. And he certainly would never have guessed that he would fall in love with her again.
Suddenly, marriage was more than just living with a compatible partner. He wanted to share his life with the woman he loved.
CHAPTER 19
Their cab arrived at the front of the lodge and Ashton whisked Naomi into it. He was already feeling far too guilty for having Naomi share the same bed as he did with Christy just a few nights ago. He didn’t think he had the strength to carry more guilt on his conscience by using her crew cab.
“Why didn’t you get a rental?” Naomi asked, settling into her seat. “What had you been using all this time?”
“Margaret and Christy lent me their vehicles.” He cleared his throat.
“Oh,” she could only manage to blurt out.
She shifted away from him, angling her body towards the window. He clasped his hands over his knees tightly. What was he to do? What was he supposed to do?
“Perhaps, we should get our own while staying here. I don’t like the idea of you using their cars,” she muttered.
“Yeah, sure,” he said quietly, looking out his window.
*****
“Hey,” Chad said as he walked in on her tidying up the bedrooms.
Christy looked up at him and smiled. “Hey. What are you doing here?”
“I took a day off. I thought I’d spend some time with you. We’ve just been so busy lately we haven’t had time much for each other.” He strolled up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I missed you.” He laid a small kiss on her lips.
“I missed you too.” She attempted another smile but failed to let it reach her eyes. Unfortunately, he had seen it too.
“Is everything okay?” he asked with concern. “How was your trip to New York?”
“Fine,” she said simply. She didn’t want to talk about New York. She wanted to put it behind her, and bury it, if it was possible.
“You don’t look too well, though. Is it Ashton? I’ve seen that he’s a little too fervently interested on the running of the business. I could talk to him if you want. Ask him to layoff you for a while.”
She shook head and gave him a comforting rub on his arm. “That’s okay. He’ll be gone in a few days anyway. His fiancée is here, so he will be busy showing her around the place. I don’t think he’d have the time to bother me anymore.”
“Yeah, I heard. Is she pretty?” He joked into her ear. “I heard she’s a model.”
“Well, she’s got to be beautiful to be one. Pretty-model, model- pretty. Isn’t that how it works?”
He caressed her cheek with the end of his nose. “However she looks, you’re always going to be more beautiful than any woman who walked this earth.”
She pulled away from him with a playful scowl on her face. “Was that sympathy in your voice?”
She smiled and leaned into him. Her heart stabbed and ached. Chad was making this hard on her. How could she not love him more than someone like Ashton? She knew without a doubt that Chad would always make sure she was protected and taken care of. She needed to get her senses back. It was ridiculous how she was continually weeping for a man who had no intention of staying on with her.
“Mom!” She heard JR call from downstairs.
She sighed and stepped away from Chad. “I better check what that is about.”
In truth, she was grateful that JR had interrupted their little moment together. The more time she spent with Chad, the guiltier she felt about her affair with her husband.
She tried to not rush down the stairs, brushing her hair back to ease the anxiety inside her.
She stopped short in her steps as she entered the living room, her eyes resting on Ashton’s back. He turned towards her and she tensed. She didn’t want to talk to him just yet. She simply wasn’t ready.
She forcibly shifted her eyes towards JR only to discover Naomi was in the room as well.
“Hi.” She managed a smile. “I hope you slept well.”
“Yes, I did,” the beautiful blonde model replied politely.
“Mom.” JR interrupted. “Dad and Naomi want to take me out for a picnic at the park. Is it okay if I go?”
She stilled. Reality washed through her. This was how life was going to be. Her son was going to be a part of another family. One that didn’t involve her. She suddenly grew possessive. She didn’t want this strange woman playing mother to her child. There was only ever going to be one mother for her son, and that was her.
“Mom, is it okay?” JR asked again.
Her sensibilities stifled down her jealousy. “Yes.”
Chad stepped off the staircase. “Hi, there.” He greeted Naomi.